I am feeling restless.
I feel like I’m lying there in bed and the temperature is wrong and my mind is racing but all my body can do is turn over, cover my eyes and try to make things darker. Somehow it crept up on me but not even two months in one spot and already I feel the need to run. And running on a treadmill just isn’t cutting it.
I feel the need to be somewhere else. A thought which makes me sad, anxious and excited all at once and not at all. It has nothing to do with New York and nothing to do with where I want to go. It’s just an intense desire to be somewhere else, anywhere else. Like if I don’t climb a mountain right now I’m going to stand in the middle of the street and scream at the top of my lungs. Like if I don’t stand at the edge of the ocean I’m going to just lie here and do nothing because nothing else matters.
I’ve never felt such an intense restlessness. I feel like if I keep rolling over I’m going to fall off the bed but I just don’t care because then I’ll at least be somewhere else.