Sat in the corporate box tonight to “bond” with my team. I’ve worked with quite a few different people over the years. In most cases they have tended to be people who are more assertive then me. And over the years I’ve been accused of having no self-confidence. This has been a something I’ve struggled with for the last five years, five years spent struggling with people’s definition of “self-confidence”. To me, it’s the confidence we have in our abilities to make decisions and to follow through with them. I’ve always been quite self-aware about my weakness in public speaking, but self-confidence has not been something I’ve lacked. Considering how awesome I think I am at my job, I have no idea how I could lack confidence in it. Plus, I’m a great proponent of “trial and error”, so I’m never wrong.
Every self-help book or “soft skills” training you do will tell you about the iceberg. The concept that people judge you only on what they can see; your behaviour. The tip of the iceberg. But, people are made up mainly of their core values which are beneath the surface. The fact that there are so many examples of self-confident people who are incompetent, arrogant, overcompensating, or all of the above, says to me that we are living in a society where people are happy to judge only on the tip of the iceberg and don’t bother to know what’s under the surface. These are the people who need to be sent to interpersonal skills training.